The Dead Never Really Leave
by Fangirling It 7
Summary: After Clarke passes out from radiation exposure she see some of the dead that she has missed the most.


I watch as the rocket that took off with Bellamy, Raven and the rest of them. Good. Bellamy and Raven didn't wait. I go back to trying to get the satellite working so that the others can get into the ring. I finally get the satellite to work or at least I am sure I did. I begin making my way down from the tower and make a break for the bunker, because even if I won't survive Priaimfaya, I know I don't want to die in the death wave.

When I do finally make it down the tower, I cracked my helmet and I cover the crack, get off the ground and sprint towards the bunker. I can feel the death wave on my back, but I don't turn around I just keep running. When I finally make it to the bunker I take my helmet off and cough up blood and fall to the ground. Before passing out I think that I helped my friends and my mom is in the bunker safe. Now I can be with Lexa, we don't owe anything to our people. I want to be with Lexa; Lexa, I'm coming.

The next time I am aware of anything I notice I am no longer wearing the Hazmat suit and I am laying down in my quarters on the ark. Before I was sent to the Skybox. What is this? Am I dreaming? Dead? The brain does some strange things as it is shutting down, I remember studying them while I was a medical apprentice with my mom.

"Hey, Kiddo, there is a game on. Want to watch it?"

I open my eyes and my dad is standing in the doorway. I leap off the bed and into his arms, "Dad? Daddy?"

"Oh, my baby girl." He says holding on tight to me.

I begin to cry, "Daddy? I've missed you so much. It's been so hard without you around."

"I know, kiddo. You are turning into a beautiful, brilliant young woman. I am so proud of you. I know your mom is too, I'm glad you forgave her. You two need to stick together." He says.

I pull out of his hug and look him in the face, "Mom is really sick and it's my fault. I just wanted Mom back after Allie tortured me using Mom. I knew there was a chance that the EMP might do real damage, Raven said as much before we EMP'd her. But…. I didn't care," I start to sob, "I… just… wanted…Mom… ba…back."

"Shh. Shh. It's okay, Clarke, I know your mom wouldn't want you to blame yourself. It's okay. It's okay." Dad repeats and pulls me into another hug.

"She's sick. And it's my fault." I just repeat into Dad's chest.

"No, it's not." He pulls me from his chest and puts his hands on my checks, "Look, Kiddo, you did what you thought was right and that's all you've ever done. Your mom knows that. It'll be okay."

"I didn't get to say goodbye. The… radio went down before I could tell her I love her. That I just wanted to be the girl I was on the Ark. That I who I became on the ground isn't all of me. That I was still me. I don't want to be dead and she never know that I was just trying to protect us. That I just wanted to save my friends."

"I know; your mom knows. She loves you and she knows you love her," Dad says, "I am so proud of you, Kiddo. I love you."

"Dad. Daddy?" He is fading from my vison. I can't see him or feel him around me. I feel myself passing out again.

"Clarke? Hey, Clarke," a voice says, "It's your move."

I open my eyes. I am still on the Ark, but now I am in the cafeteria and Wells is sitting across from me with a chess board in-between us, "Wells?" I ask even though I know it's him.

"Who else would you play chess with?" Wells teases.

"I've missed you," I say reaching out and holding his hand.

"Me too," He says and he squeezes my hand.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. That you died alone." I say tears welling up in my eyes thinking that Wells and I won't be so different when we die. We will both be alone, with no one who cares about us to ease our pain.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. Can you do me a favor? Tell my dad it wasn't his fault either. Help him move on." Wells says.

"Wells, how am I going to do that? Your dad is in the bunker and I can't leave the bunker for five years. I'll never last that long."

Wells gives me a smile before saying, "Just. Just tell him. Okay?"

"I promise." I say to Wells before everything fades.

When I wake up again I am inside the dropship. I walk outside and the ground looks like it did before the Ring of Fire. Suddenly there is a body dropping from the sky and he stands up and pushes his hair out of his face.

"Hey Princess," he says. Finn. It seems like a lifetime ago since Finn was alive. He looks like he did before the Ring of Fire. Before he shot up the village. He looks happy like when we first landed.

I walk up to him and give him a hug. My first love on the ground; he tried to get me to see the fun on the ground but I never really did. There was always something that had to be done.

"You did it, Princess. You saved our friends." He says. I'm not sure if he is talking about Mount Weather or Priaimfaya.

"Not really," I say pulling out of his hug.

"You survived."

"I'm so sorry." I say remembering that the last time I saw Finn alive I put a knife in his belly. I killed him. There was so much blood on my hands, I never thought that it would wash off.

"Don't be. It was my choice. I couldn't handle the ground. I am sorry for what I made you do." He said. He gives me a kiss on the forehead, "You are the strongest person I know, Princess."

He fades away and all I can think is I don't want to be strong anymore. If this is the end that would be okay with me. The next time I can see anything I am in the Commander's chambers in Polis before Allie. The sun is shining into the room, onto the bed, where we had our first time, only time. When I left this bed after to go back to Arkadia, I had promised myself that I would find my way back here to Lexa. That one day we wouldn't owe anything to our people. I wanted something more than one time with Lexa.

"Clarke of the Sky People," I would know her voice anywhere. I have been hearing it in my head for weeks now. I've missed her. Lexa.

I turn towards her voice and sure enough Lexa is standing there without her Commander gear. She is just Lexa, "Lexa." I say and I close the gap between us in three short strides and wrap my arms around her. I begin kissing her, because I cannot be kissing her. It's been to long since I've kissed her. The hurried kiss in the City of Light wasn't enough. The goodbye kiss as she died in my arms wasn't enough. Our goodbye and promise for more in bed wasn't enough.

I finally pull myself away, "We don't owe our people anything anymore." I tell her.

Lexa gives me a small smile, then she leans in for another kiss before she says, "Your fight isn't over."

I pull out of her embrace, "Priaimfaya came. I couldn't get back to Polis into the bunker even if there was still a way in. I didn't make it to the ship that was going to take us back to space. I won't be able to survive for long on the ground. I was exposed to high levels of radiation. There is no surviving that."

"You have the blood of Commander running through your veins, you will live. You are strong, Clarke. You will live."

"Lexa, I am so tired. I just want to rest. I want to be with you."

"Clarke, you have to keep going. You will be alone for five years, but once our people are out of the bunker, out of space, they are going to need you."

"I don't want to owe anyone anything, Lexa. They can do this without me, Bellamy and Raven will keep everyone in space alive. Octavia, Indra and Kane will keep the people in the bunker alive. They don't need me now."

"They will and you cannot run from this, you born to be a leader. I will always be with you, Clarke, in here." She puts her hand to my chest over my heart.

"I'm not dying, am I?" Realizing that Dad, Wells, Finn, and Lexa are just a hallucination brought on by the exposure to radiation. I look up at Lexa and start to tear up and choke out, "You're not really here, are you?"

"No, my fight is over, but yours will continue and when it's safe again our people will need you." Lexa says.

I keep my arms wrapped around her begin to really cry, "I don't want to lead, I want to be with you."

"One day you will be, but until then you need to wake up and survive. I'll be with you, but you need to wake up."

I keep my arms around her for a long time; I can still feel Lexa around me when I wake up in the bunker in my Hazmat suit on the floor where I passed out. I lay on the floor for a long time, not ready to face the reality of being the only person who can walk the land. If my vision of Lexa was right the nightblood in my veins will allow me to survive after the death wave passes. I lay on the floor for hours talking myself into getting off the ground and begin trying to survive.

After hours of laying there, I finally get up and take off my suit and begin looking through the bunker to see what I have to survive, until the death wave passes and I can test the night blood solution. I want to survive for Dad, Wells, Finn and Lexa, but I want to survive to finally have some peace on the ground. I want to see my mom again. To see Bellamy and Raven. I want to live for a life that doesn't involve a body count.

 _Thanks for reading_


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